For those that don’t know Big Red and I eloped after just 3 months of knowing each other. It will be 12 years come June so I don’t think we messed that up. Notice I said eloping and not getting married. I do not regret getting married or my marriage or my husband. Now that everyone is clear you can stop trying to track down Big Red and put me on blast for something I did not say.
When we decided to get married the plan was to elope and then have a big white wedding about a year later. I wanted to be a June bride. Cheesy I know. We also knew that with me still being in training, we were both in the Navy, that I could request to be stationed in the same geographical area as my husband.
Now when you meet and decide to marry someone and your families live 3,000 miles apart there are some logistics to getting everyone to the same place. Well, some of his family would not have been able to travel to Virginia to be at our wedding. My dream was to get married on my family’s property where I grew up and my grandparents’ ashes are spread. Of course I wanted his family to be there. At the time we were stationed in San Diego and what could be prettier than a sunset beach wedding? A wedding in the country duh! So we started looking into having a wedding in SD and that way both families would have to travel. Then we told my mom the plan. She said no way on this planet would she be at my wedding if it was anywhere but my childhood home. So I did what any other 22 year old would do when her mom pisses her off. I put the kabosh on the whole thing. We eloped. I got drunk and called my mom and told her I was married.
Fast forward almost 12 years later and there are some things I regret about not having a big white wedding.
Pictures! I have not 1 picture of us on our wedding day. Big Red’s grandmother recently passed and there are no pictures of him with her celebrating our big day. There are no pictures of us with friends or family. There are no pictures of those special moments that the bride and groom take for themselves to remember just that bit about the whirlwind of the day.
The dress! I worked in a bridal shop before the Navy and let me tell you I dreamed of my dress. I couldn’t wait to shop for my dress. I couldn’t wait for my husband to see me in that gorgeous dress. I couldn’t wait to set it aside and one day let my daughter play dress up in my dress.
Joy! I was so happy to marry Big Red. We had a lot of fun after. Our bar tab said so. I regret the joy of celebrating with loved ones. The smiles of just having fun with loved ones. The joy of being with your person and feeling the joy others had for you. Our day was kind of cloaked in spite.
Witnesses! No one was there. A few friends met us afterwards but our witness was the Justice of the Peace’s secretary. How impersonal can that be. To have not one person to cheer for you. He pronounced husband and wife. We kissed and he barely let us out the door before he told his secretary to call the next couple.
So if you are getting married and would like to elope. Go for it. It can be cheap. Cost us $100. Plan a little time for some of those little things that make the day special. Food, cake, drinks you can get anywhere. You cannot go back and get pictures. You cannot go back and fly your grandmother to your wedding. You cannot go back and rewrite the story of your day. So take head lovebirds if this is a route you want to go great but just be prepared that you give up a lot when you don’t have the white wedding of your dreams.
“Whatever our souls are made of; his and mine are the same”- Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte